finally I has to face the fact
like what my mum always told me "you cant escape the fact,
one day you still has to face it"
now in front of me there are two ways for me to choose
but the problem is what should I choose and what is the best way for me
after received so many of advices or ideas
I already lost the position
still think for it
besides from that
the biggest problem is I already let my parent to worry
and feel shame to face them
is going crazy now
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